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Mindhunters By Harry Forbes Catholic News Service NEW YORK (CNS) -- If FBI agents were anything like the foulmouthed, trigger-happy crew in this ludicrous thriller, we'd all be in big trouble. "Mindhunters" (Miramax) is an excessively violent "Ten Little Indians" rip-off involving FBI agents (Jonny Lee Miller, Kathryn Morris, Christian Slater, Will Kemp, Eion Bailey and Patricia Velasquez among them), and a Philadelphia cop (LL Cool J) along for the ride, assigned to Oniega, a desolate island off the coast of North Carolina. What happens there, however, is a far cry from the lethal but genteel proceedings in Agatha Christie's classic whodunit. The assembled profilers-in-training are on the island to participate in an exercise concocted by their borderline sadistic supervisor (Val Kilmer), who tells them their imaginary adversary will be an unseen villain known as "The Puppeteer." But the agents quickly discover that it's not just playacting, as they are killed off one by one for real ("What kind of simulation is this?" Morris' character asks as matters begin to get out of hand), and -- with unconvincing reason -- almost immediately suspect that it's someone from their own crew. Poisoned coffee, acid-filled cigarettes and boats rigged with explosives are among the weapons used. Nearly all the agents have issues or histories that earmark them as potential suspects. Morris' character, Sara Moore, for instance, had a sister who was "drowned and raped repeatedly" as a child, and therefore Sara may harbor resentment against the FBI for never finding her sister's killer. That sort of thing. Their only clues to the next murder are watches planted mysteriously, which signal when the next victim will die. Just to keep you off-guard, the film kills off one of its stars early on, a la Janet Leigh in "Psycho," so you know that anything might happen. None of the characters is particularly appealing (intentional?), and you may find yourself rooting for which one gets knocked off next. There is a twist at the end, but after so many red herrings the payoff is only mildly surprising. The production design by Charles Wood gets points at least; the island does look truly creepy. Director Renny Harlin's blood-splattered shocker has some isolated moments of suspense and its share of jolts, but any chance of this being a respectable mystery is undermined by the wild improbability of the proceedings, the unrelenting and sickening violence, and the lame dialogue (by Wayne Kramer and Kevin Brodbin) that had some audience members guffawing heartily. "Mindhunters" has been in the vaults three whole years, where it should have stayed, or else been buried on Oniega! The film contains much profanity, crude language, intense menace, violence with blood and gore, decapitation, rear nudity and a brief sexual encounter. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is L -- limited adult audience, films whose problematic content many adults would find troubling. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is R -- restricted. - - - Forbes is director of the Office for Film & Broadcasting of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. END Copyright (c) 2005 Catholic News Service/USCCB. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed. CNS · 3211 Fourth St NE · Washington DC 20017 · 202.541.3250 |
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